The first word to the first smell,,,the first touch to the first face,,,the first lap to the first fingers…the world is incomplete without my MA…Being a mother to a beautiful daughter,,, I’m well aware of the hardships that a mother has to go…I do understand and feel what each of us treasure more…It has always been casual for me to have a mother…Many a times I was told that I might treasure what I’ve as lots of kids didn’t even get the privilege to find the face in the crowd…I do understand now when I myself is a MA…When I look at the worn out face of my MA,,,the feeling that I get is scary and I don’t want to have that…I fear of losing her one day…The fear of not having her around to talk,,,to complain about some or the other thing,,,the fear of not getting to hear her voice anymore,,,the fear of not getting to ask about the next step that I should take to get of the web surrounding me,,,the fear of not finding anyone when I’m scared,,,the fear of not having her to share my proud or happy moments…She is sixty five years old,,,but believe me when I say that still now she is the shadow that I would like to live under…It is so warm,,,and so incredible…I never do have a particular day to celebrate her as she is the is the celebration herself…A child’s whole being and existence is for their MA…The most reliable word in this universe…There are still so many things about my likings and dislikings that I had to ask myself about,,,but she could still read me like an open book…I still remember the day when I met a fatal accident and I was so scared when I regained my consciousness,,,my MA sat beside me and didn’t shed a drop of tear so that I could stay brave as my face was totally smashed and I might panick even more…Though,,,during the night I often heard her crying…She has always been my strength…That strength held my hand throughout my journey in ups and downs…I’m sure that all the mothers are same… I’m dedicating my blog to all the mothers in our lives who care for us more than their life… Happy Mother’s Day…MA.
Tag Archives: Love
MY RIDE
WHISTLING
Ok…so, there’re few things that I love doing… I’ve a habit of reading, even while cooking… that’s what my library is made for and with more than thousand books… I love to practice with my harmonium… spending hours doing my riyaz and playing with ragas…classical song is my forte… I’ve the knack of gardening… didn’t even realise when my small piece of heaven grew and the family has more than hundred members… I do my gardening while singing or whistling… I can’t remember but I’m whistling from an early age… Gradually it became one of my passions… It was just like any other day and almost four years back, when I was practicing with my harmonium but didn’t felt the vibe of it,,,so I started whistling… It was a cold sunny day in the month of February… Suddenly a bird came and perched on the rod of my window… We’ve a small vegetation with lots of tall trees and shrubs as well, near our house… Squirrels, owls, bats snakes and different species of birds had their home over there…Well!!! That’s the reason that I can see lots of colourful birds and when I saw that bird on my window,,,it was nothing more than a bliss…I kept on whistling when two more birds perched on a branch near the window… I guess the first one was a bit daredevil to come near an evil species like human… Well!!! It became a tradition for us where we,,, who became friends unknowingly gather for some WHISTLING in a round table,,, oops!!! round window conference… The habit of WHISTLING started with a simple habit to passion and then converted into a bond of friendship…..
ELLIOT’S MUSE
It was almost winters…The sky had that red tinge like the blush of a newly married lady who is yet to be a woman…The wind was also somewhat wild with the desire to meet his beloved after passing of several rainy season…The nature had a different glow to her…Her bosom was filled with joy for her children playing around with the sweetest sound of laughter in the fruit orchard,,, nurtured with care and devotion…Just then, somewhere was sitting that MUSE of a girl on the swing of her verandah…She had those dreamy eyes filled with the dreams of her ELLIOT…Afterall she was the Macy of Christina Lauren’s creation in LOVE AND OTHER WORDS…Her heart had a light pressure with a beautiful dizzy feeling of waiting for her prince charming…She was among one of those who was comforted by that unknown presence of that lead male character whom only she could feel…Her dreams with open eyes were always vivid and filled with lots of holding hands and strolling near the lake,,, reading together or narrating the story to the other…Just faraway from the usual chaotic life… Waiting and waiting…Though she was too unaware of the fact that she had been the muse of someone who stares dreamily at her from a distance without being noticed…For him,,,each of her behaviour,,,posture,,,steps and even the clasping of her hands in nervousness was nothing less than alluring…He could not think of a day starting without watching his personal rising sun…It was the only way that could make his heart run and let the blood flow through the veins…He was such a patient one…And why not,,,afterall who can avoid peeping such a Bud…But now, he couldn’t function after what happened a month ago…Yes, a month…when she lost her legs in that dicey accident…He could’ve lost her and she wouldn’t even know that her ELLIOT was always there even without her realising it…He did the unthinkable and let her see how precious she had been and will always be…She was the life he was leading…She was the MUSE to his art…She couldn’t be more estatic…She hung to him like he was her life,..She cried harder but believed on her angels,,,thanked them with everything she has,..In the most pleasant and heart touching moment she found her ELLIOT…
MY BOOKS
I’m obsessed with books…I still remember,,,I was sent to school at the age of 2 in nursery…I used to enjoy school only for the reason that one of my teachers…K.D.Miss,,,was an excellent story teller…She had this colourful book with her and showed us the pictures occassionally…That was the first love…Then I got my first BOOK ever…THE BLUE BIRD…I was so excited and turned the pages over and over…I was 5 years old and couldn’t read the BOOK properly and couldn’t even understand bits and pieces…My Mum was their to narrate the story and I fell in love with it…It was a gradual process and I didn’t even noticed when MY BOOKS became my escape…During the off periods, when my classmates were busy in playing and chatting among themselves,,,I used to run to the school library …I don’t know how but the time went running away…I had to be dissatisfied with my hunger for “Few Pages More”…Every time I got scolding from Teachers or my Mum ,,,I would run to my collection and read a whole book to escape from the reality and cool my mind off…It was college and I was doing my Honours…I had the habit of not even smiling…I was a good student and never bunked any classes except when I found any BOOK that could steal my hours just like that…I started reading romantic novels but wasn’t in love with any one other than MY BOOKS…How could I??? Not a single Guy could match with the Fantasy ones… Whoever tried and proposed me got rejected immediately…I knew that Boys in real life cannot be like the ones in BOOKS…Hell, even Girls aren’t like the lead female characters…Still I had that surreal hope for meeting the one 🙄…Slowly I became aware of the facts that life isn’t what is written in a book…It is way different…I started loving books more and more…Afterall they were and are my escape from real life…Slowly but surely I completed my dream of having a Library of my own… Although it took years,.,but I did it…Right now I’ve a collection of almost thousand BOOKS… TRAVELOGUE,,, AUTOBIOGRAPHIES,,,PARTITION,,,MYSTERY,,,ADVENTURE,,,HORROR,,,COMEDY,,, THRILLERS,,,ROMANCE,,,EROTIC AS WELL,,,But my all time favourite that I still read to this date is “FAIRY TALES“…I still think there is somewhere a prince and a princess who lead their lives happily ever after…I do face problems and backlashes…But every problem that I get over with is only with “MY BOOKS“
VENOM
I tried and tried,,,but couldn’t find a single drop of water from my eyes…How would I when you’ve even snatched that privilege away from me…You knew I’ve nothing left to give you other than that but you couldn’t even spare my salty escape for me…I watched your retreating back to mix with the fog to never come back and hold me in your arms…I knew,,, the day when you weren’t standing there beside me to strengthen me and say ,”Don’t worry love, I’ll always be there,,,when you open your eyes,,, I’ll wait to see those black onyx and that smile on your chocolate brown petals,,, I’ll be there to hold you and let you burry your face in my chest so that you could listen to my heart beat which would take away your pain,,, I’ll be there love”,,,you were no more my safe heaven…I was still trying to not give up…You used to sit just behind me and steal glances here and there…I used to love that and my body was so responsive… Everything changed and I realised that you don’t do that anymore…I knew that I wasn’t only losing you but losing my soul in the process to hold you…You slowly but gradually retreated back and shattered me piece by piece…I searched but couldn’t find my heart anymore…You captured it when you thought it was right,,,you chained it when you thought it was right,,,you threw the box with my heart in it into the never ending hole when you thought it was right,,,you broke it into several small pieces and left me to find and join the pieces when you thought it was right…You burnt me with the VENOM created by you and didn’t even think to give the antidote when you felt it was the right thing to do…Who was I to you???Now I won’t complain cause I’ve the most precious gift that you’ve ever gifted me with…..…your…….VENOM……
Tickle in mind
You know the feeling of being secured, yes, that’s what I feel when I look at the very face of the person who’s holding me together. I really don’t know about soulmate cause I haven’t experienced sort of those things but the thing I know is you cannot always have the world still you can have that one person who is more than the whole universe. Ok,mmmm, let me make some sense……….,….I was 23 when he proposed me and I was like, okkkkayy,,,let’s see the potentiality of the situation…” I’m not into any kind of relation right now and no one has proposed me for a very long time and and and,,,the most important thing is I’m not getting any younger…that means I should be rational and say yes…afterall he has a descent job which I too have and together we can deal with situations,,,so that’s a win win”… You know what they say, marry that person who loves you but not that one whom you love…So I choose the saying and slowly but gradually after having a daughter of 11 years with him I fell in love with his presence and the space he lives in and even his shadow…His presence is enough to calm and soothe me in my hard times ( which tend to stay with me a lot )…I got to know, you can always love a person later than sooner but it should be true…. Ditching your feelings is not always easy but I learnt that the hard way…I was so sure that after marriage, giving him everything ( even my virginity at the age of 23 ) I would love him,, but man, I was so wrong…The time only taught me to love a person who has always been my rock and the oxygen that I breathe to stay alive….Falling in love 💕 was the hardest thing for me ….
ME🤔 